Hello and Happy Yom Kippur! I hope everyone got to cast their sins into the river and start fresh. It’s like a spiritual reboot, right?
Hello and Happy Patriot Day, Back-To-School Day, and my birthday!!! Whoop whoop! I turn the big four-two on Friday. And I will dutifully celebrate it with hot wings, cold beer, and good friends. Oh, and a raw bar. Yummers!
Happy Labor Day and Happy Rosh Hashanah! I prefer to say Happy Birthday, Adam and Eve. BTW what color tie goes with a fig leaf?
Hello and Happy Lyndon Baines Johnson Day! I didn’t know Presidents’ birthdays besides Lincoln and Washington were officially observed, but this holiday is observed in Texas only. So what do you Texans do to celebrate LBJ Day, anyway?
Hello and Happy National Left-Handed Day! I’m a southpaw myself. Feel free to send gifts, but I already have a good pair of left-handed scissors and I prefer right-handed can openers, anyway…
Hello and Happy Canadian Civic Holiday! Is this really necessary? Canadians are the most civil people I know!
Hello and Happy National Cheesecake Day! I love cheesecake, but this holiday was invented by the Cheesecake Factory. Does that count?
Hello and Happy National Hot Dog Day! I prefer mine with mustard, relish, and occasionally sauerkraut. You?
Hello and Happy National Corn Fritters Day! Really? Really?!