Happy Flag Day and Father’s Day! You know, you could kill two birds with one stone by getting your father a flag-colored tie. That would work, right?
Hello and Happy Memorial Day! I hope everyone remembered to honor our brave fallen before eating that third hot dog…
Hello and Happy Battle of Pueblo Day and soon-to-be Mother’s Day. My mom said not to get her flowers this year, just take her to see Spider-Man 2. Fine by me!
Happy May! Excuse me, but have you seen April? It was here just a second ago…
Hello and Happy Easter! I got to double-dip on the holidays and dig on some fine Easter dinner fare with the family. Oh, and Happy Earth Day and Administrative Professionals Day!
Happy Easter and Happy Passover! This is one of those times of year when I’m thankful that I have both Jewish and Catholic parents. I get to eat twice as much awesome food!
Hello and Happy Palm Sunday! Did you know that Palm Sunday is a movable feast? No, I did not make that up. I like the sound of a movable feast. It makes me think of me and my fat bastard friends running down the street to keep up with a table on wheels that’s loaded with food. Yes, I know I have issues, thank you.
Hello and Happy April Fool’s Day! I’d try to come up with something clever to fool y’all with, but you guys are too savvy for me. Did I mention that I’m moving to Fiji?